glory fades

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 05:23:17 GMT

i fuckin hate crickets.

broken parachute.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 04:01:23 GMT

i just realized that i never update this thing.
none the less my life is constantly changing and constantly adapting to new situations becomes easier and easier as time goes by.
i still miss my friends and family everyday, but i some how manage.
california has a lot of two faced assholes and im just happy to be away from them.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 05:42:54 GMT

i once got really drunk at a party and made out with a boy.
sobered up and went home and called it a night.

this was probably about a year ago.

now im struggling to get home.
im in colorado and im miserable.

i miss the days where what i did the night before did not matter.
i miss the days where commitment was not part of my routine.

i miss being me.

so much has changed.

fuck change.

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 08:59:44 GMT

my back hurts and i hate cramps.
i love text messages at 1:54am.
i have no idea what im doing.

new well not really new but

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 05:55:06 GMT

i totally forgot i had this lj, but i made a new one, so anyone still care to read my nonsense add me<3

you____vandal

Fri, 09 Apr 2004 09:19:12 GMT

this is another fine example of how i suffer from insomnia.
i have to be at work soon.

to my lover.

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 08:02:12 GMT

i just want to thank you for making me smile every time i think about you.
the way you make me feel is indescribable. you complete me in each and every way. you remind me that there is something worth living for.
i love you with all my heart and soul.

yep

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 08:10:44 GMT

@ exactly 12:09 am pacific standard time i decided to hate people again.
thats is all.
good day/night.

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 00:20:06 GMT

wow im so excited.
i just got a call from an art school that im intersted in and i have an apt on wednesday @ 2pm.
i hate regular college. i find it so boring. i really wanna go to art school instead, i hope i could attend next semester, it would make me happy as fuck!
yay!

bliss.

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 22:35:33 GMT

i decided im going to update this one more often. this journal is where i really express myself and what not. so my mom found my letter from college, from last semester where i got kicked out. she wasnt upset, she knows how i feel about school, but she just wants me to try. i havent really been hanging around with a lot of people lately and i find it better. i dont need to be around a lot of people to be happy. i started talking to ryan again and its awesome. i really missed him and i realized he was a good friend, and what i did was wrong. times like these make me appreciate life a bit more. my brother is going to go to UCSB and im happy. santa barbara is beautiful & its not far at all, which means i could go visit him whenever i miss him!
im glad my mom is starting to do better without my dad and that makes me feel good. she doesnt need to be treated like crap and shes giving herself value, something i've been trying to tell her all along. if all goes as planned i will be able to move out next year as i planned to do this year until my dad left. im over that though, i decided to just be the bigger person and move on. i mean i'm not one to really show emotions or anything, but that whole deal did fuck with my head a bit, but im over it.
i cant wait until next month.
i cant wait till the summer.
i get to enjoy life once more...
life is great.

yea yea yea

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 07:46:28 GMT

i think i should take a class on how to study.

i think i probably have adult A.D.D.

i think you should shut up now.

random thoughts part IV.

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 23:59:15 GMT

so why do amazing people have to live far away? i guess thats just the way life is. sometimes when im listening to music it brings me memories of certain indivisuals whom i miss being in my life. as time goes by we grow older and drift away slowly. it saddens me that i cant see the people who i care about the most everyday. it saddens me that we cant be friends anymore. im loving life right now. im living it up to the fullest. i wouldnt have it any other way. everyday i wake up feeling thankful for everything that i have been blessed with. although im never satisfied to the fullest, i do like to make the best of what i have.
this year is turning out alright so far. i figure its still early so if theres something im not satisfied with its still early to make an effort to change it. lets talk about change. change is amazing depending on the indivisual. im going to be honest and admit that change scares the shit out of me but sometimes we all have to take risks and do whats best for us. my life is forever changing and i have yet to adapt to that. whether its friends, family, school, jobs, etc, nothing ever stays the same. do i ever worry about finding stability. yes. but at the same time i dont want to settle down for something mediocre. i want to be happy with what ever i chose. selfish? yes. very. but hey i have to think about myself, no one else will and believe me indivisuals have proved that to me before. does it bother me? not at all. i dont blame them. were all too young to be thinking about others yet. there are exactly 3 indivisuals who i would do just about anything for. these people have known me all my life and have been there for me through thick and thin. i love those people. i dont feel the need to name drop because im sure they know who they are. its weird how thinking about little things here and there could bring the biggest smile to my face. people who arent even in my life could make me smile more than those who are sometimes. its amazing knowing that somewhere out there somebody actaully cares about the choices you make. its also amusing how people treat you differently based on looks. gotta love the shallow people. i like messing with those fucks. awesome. i also love people who pretend to be my friend. man i have a lot of those in my life. i keep em close. just the way i should. i cant wait to attend art school.

hello.

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 02:42:36 GMT

why dont i have any good fucking friends?
why are they all assholes?
you know what everyone? fuck you and your stupid shit. i dont care.
do me a favor and dont fucking talk to me anymore. all you you.
have a good fucking night/life.

THANK YOU BROTHER♥

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 06:58:54 GMT

for fixing my computer.
youre the best brother ever!
i ♥ you.

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 19:35:11 GMT

i have to be @ work soon!
hooray for starbucks!
jfklkads!

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 06:01:14 GMT

no oc for 3 weeks.
how much does that blow?
a whole lot :[

play crack the sky.

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 20:53:35 GMT

so today school was pretty ok i suppose.
we watched some hillarious movie on stress in health class and it totally reminded me of the characters who come in to starbucks all angry because they had a bad day @ the office...HILLARIOUS!

so according to the syllabus i have 2 tests coming up this week. hooray! astronomy class is kinda hard when youre working with a bunch of morons...but i manage.

so my brother got accepted to the university of santa cruz and im really happy for him, but at the same time i am saddened. i really love my brother and if he goes away i will miss him, i do want the best for him so i am encouraging him to do what benefits him. yesterday was his 18th birthday and we had a good time. im so proud of him. he's such an awesome kid. i am proud to be his sister.

me, im scared shitless because im going to be 21 and i have no clue what so ever on what i want to do. yesterday my brother and i were talking, and the idea of me majoring in business and just move up the starbucks chain with all the fuckers who make tons of money for doing basically nothing came up. it would be pretty simple because i already work for the company, so all i would have to do is go to school for business?? eh?? eh?? its just an idea at the time...

well i think its time to do something more productive other than just sitting here like a loser on the computer.
good day superfriends!
♥

i am the cause to all your problems.

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 01:57:20 GMT

how come when i read through people's lj's all i see i read is stupid shit about what kind of drugs they did and who they fucked? i must be getting old because shit like that doesnt impress me. kinda bothers me actually.

i decided i wont be hanging out with anyone for a while due to certain circumstances. no need to explain. it doesnt matter. i think its time i spend more time with the people who will make a positive influence in my life. i also need some time alone to myself.

it hurts to be this good.

oh yea one more thing:

♥Freakishstars and ♥Your mom

Will adopt no expensive girls.
Elect to do just anything on Saturdays.
Endure the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.

Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 07:26:38 GMT

wow today i worked a lot and had a good time.
i feel somewhat tired right now but i still refuse to go to bed.
its a saturday night and i am home. eh its not like someone wants to take me out anywhere anyway and i dislike driving....A LOT!
i havent really been up to much lately due to the fact that im working more and going to school more. i dont mind, i still feel like im being productive, just in a different sense.
i need a hair cut.

allergies are killing me and my nose is sore from blowing my nose :[
i burned my tounge at work today. man did it buuuuurn!
i simply cannot wait till the future.
♥

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 03:38:57 GMT

i got lost trying to find myself but i somehow managed to find my way back.

just an update.

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 03:33:20 GMT

wow i dloaded all these acoustic ♥saves the day♥ songs and theyre soo good. i love saves the day. god i sound like a teeny bopper. fuck i dont care teeny boppers is what its all about!
so things have been going pretty swell lately. school is a breeze and i like work again.

i seriously cannot wait till the summer comes around! this summer is going to be MY summer and im gonna try to make it the best ever!!~
oh yes sometime in the near future i have traffic school! fun.

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 06:48:07 GMT

no good very bad day. :|

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 02:52:50 GMT

life. uncomfortable. annoying. tired. persuasive. disappointed. feelings. emotions. thoughts. people. friends. strangers. point of view. close mindedness. stereotypes. sanity. insanity. bliss. reasoning. love. tears. laughter. pain. over come. joy. kindness. appreciative. destroy. appealing. comforting. silence. fear. loathing. crimes. confusion. offensive. defensive. overwhelming. panic. trust. ego. insecurities. abusive. lust. disgust. freedom. advantages. image. breakdowns. make-ups. status quo. self inflicting wounds. happiness. will power. mental health. words. humor. violence. sacredness. sensitivity. ignorance. rules. disappointments. self consciousness. awareness. learn. explore. define. anger. war. death.

...

Mon, 23 Feb 2004 02:57:17 GMT

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and their like is better than yours, i could teach you but i'll have to charge.

more random thoughts.

Sun, 22 Feb 2004 21:11:36 GMT

things that irritate the hell outta me:
- fat people.
- extra caramel and whip cream.
- men in business suits.
- people who dont tip.
- drive thru's
- waking up @ 4 in the fucking morning on a sunday morning so i can serve some douche bag his fucking black coffee because the jack ass is too lazy to make his own coffee at home.
- gas prices.
- guys in eyeliner.
- people who dont appreciate life.

things that make me smile:
+ my sanity.
+ my cat.
+ driving.
+ the beach.
+ sleeping.
+ open mindedness.
+ music.